Several weeks ago I started a series of blog posts about the biggest struggles I have in ministry. This is going to be the final post in that series.
Failure. I bet I’m not the only person who struggles with this. It’s hard to fail. And I can find so many different ways to feel failure!
I feel like a failure when I let another person in ministry down. It happens. We don’t live up to the expectations people have for us. They wanted us to be like “x” and we ended up being like “y”. They’re disappointed. We’re disappointed. It’s not a good experience. It’s hard for me to know that we failed someone who trusted us.
I feel like a failure when I don’t meet the expectations of the team. I hate it when I don’t meet the expectations of the people I report to. I’m wired with a very high goal-oriented drive. When I don’t reach goals set out for us, I feel like a failure. I also can’t stand to miss the expectations of the people that work for me. I’m a leader. That’s my responsibility. When I don’t lead well or in the ways the team expects, that feels like failure.
Needless to say there are too many ways I can interpret things as failure. But… Here’s the thing… God doesn’t see me as a failure. God doesn’t define me by the “job” I do. God doesn’t define me by meeting goals, or meeting others expectations of me, or by what I consider failure. God defines my by how well I know Jesus. That’s it.
It’s an important reminder that I work hard to keep in mind at all times. I’m God’s. Not the churches we work with. Not my bosses. Not the teams. God’s. How amazing is that!